I'm Becoming My Mom!

It's funny that as kids, we all start off thinking that we're not going to be like our parents, but I find as I get older, I become more and more like them, particularly, my mother.  I find myself saying things that I remember her saying and reacting in similar manners.  It used to drive me crazy when my mom would say things like, "When you have kids, you'll understand."  The time has come...I understand.  

I understand that my parents took great care of me.  I understand that my parents wanted the best for me.  I understand that they didn't enjoy punishing me (even though I thought that as a child!).  They did the things they did for me so that I would grow up to be a caring, thoughtful, and productive individual.  They loved me enough to be great parents.  

I've had several jobs, but none as important as being a parent.  I hear from time to time that being a parent is a thankless job, but I disagree.  At this point in my life, I'm very thankful to my parents for all that they've done for me and the lasting gifts that they've instilled in my life.  And I know that one day, my kids will understand too.

So, as far as becoming my mother...it's not such a bad thing after all!

Teenagers Need Their Moms!

As a mother of a 16 year old girl and a 12 year old boy, I'm at that point where I don't feel as "needed" anymore.  The kids are more independent (which is great!), they're building their circle of friends for suppport, and they definitely don't come to me anymore for every cut and scrape that needs a band-aid and a kiss.  Like most mothers, there are days when I'm conflicted because I still want to be needed, but I want the kids to grow up strong and independent.

What I've come to realize is that my role as mother has changed.  I will still be there for them anytime, anywhere,   and while I'm not needed in the typical ways that children need their mommies, I'm needed in different ways.  My kids need me to be understanding.  They need me to let them grow.  They need me to let them make mistakes.  They need me to trust them and the job I've done with them.  They need me to continue loving them unconditionally.  They need me to give them space.  These are all things we've done along the way as mothers, but some of these things need to be done in less obvious ways.

I'm still a safety net for my daughter and son, but they don't always need to know that because that's how they learn the lesson of consequences.  I will admit that as small children, I have been guilty of being a "helicopter mom", but the greatest gift I can give them as a teenager and a preteen is room to fly.  I'll still catch them when they fall, but in order for them to soar, they need to fly.  That's what my kids need from me.